The Arid Wasteland Between Dialogue and Debate

Commentary by Anastasia, The Super Sleuth 

The dictionary defines “arid” as a barren wasteland with little or no rain, too dry to support vegetation.

As it turns out “arid” can be applied, not only to a desert, but also to the space that lies between dialogue and debate. As in rather than talk -- there is silence. Thus a thriving town such as the one New Horizons has focused its attentions on this past year can be both bountiful and limited; its potential for growth in certain areas as stunted as a desert.

Silence can be defined as a situation or state in which people do not talk. 

Silence is an amazing sign of our times! In the midst of ceaseless, frequent idle chatter, little of genuine substance is often being said.

Where, when and how this paradox becomes manifest is worthy of investigation, I said this morning to my alter ego, Anastasia, The Super Sleuth.

I had come to realize, especially in beginning to assess last year’s Coffee House Conversations Project, that New Horizons has been investing in creating conversation scenarios for vast numbers of people who apparently are unable and/or unwilling to talk to one another.  

Isn’t that interesting?

This amazing insight has caused me to ponder, once again, what exactly Starbucks had in mind with their well-intentioned foray into conversations on race relations about this time last year. 

I thought their initiative to be rather naïve at the time. And I still do, perhaps now even more.

Being an inveterate student of human behavior and group social dynamics, as well as having a certain degree of expertise in the area of managing resistance (i.e. the Dark Side of human nature), the presence of so many people, “talking about talking,” but doing little of it with any depth, at least not for long, has brought me up short.

The power and profoundness of this understanding of mine really hit me today in my morning meditation!

I was reviewing my new radio show project, "Conversations with Anastasia on the Art of Conversation;" its gains and that which needs to be achieved, if its objectives are to be reached.

You see when I am presenting principles and their applications to my radio show listeners and readers of my blog post articles, I am typically learning along with teaching. And when I have an inspiring co-host as with Jack Slattery or a “sidekick” as I do with Kim Beckett on Anastasia The Storyteller, they, too, are teaching me. At the highest levels, support people such as these, then, help me reach “awe,” my favorite place to be, if only fleetingly.

Thus the insight came to me this morning that there is a vast wasteland between dialogue and debate called silence. And that the intractable power of silence often has a greater capacity to defeat well-intended good deeds than does any other power. 

Isn’t that amazing; doing nothing can easily defeat doing something?

This insight came to me this morning as I was moving into what seemed to be my almost final tally of the gifts from this week’s “Trading In The Costs Of The Quiets For The Riches of Dialogue" program on the Anastasia The Storyteller Radio Show. This morning’s reflection also prompted me to review, again, the exercise I had posted yesterday on my Radio Show Study Guide on Anastasia The Storyteller, the blog site.

The exercise I am referencing is “Step #2” (posted on February 9).  The exercise asks that we consider the various roles played in our lives by talking.

I did that one for myself. And I learned a few things already which I hope you, too, will do.

This morning, however, that exercise and the show Kim and I did on Monday got me to wondering about the many reasons people choose not to talk, or at least avoid exchanging words of substance.  You can be sure I am going to investigate this!

My own curious, Super Sleuth mind, my love for humanity with all its many frailties has now got me thinking about why people avoid talking. I will continue my pursuit of this intriguing issue for a time. The effort fits right in with the next, upcoming round of interviews now being scheduled for New Horizons’ Possible Human, Possible Society Study.

I will be sure to let you know what I/we discover.

For now, I will leave you with this thought: silence can be used as a weapon! 

Could you possibly be guilty of using it in such a way? 

Without intending it, I have used silence -- and -- withdrawal this way so I know the strategy well, I am sorry to say. I am also sorry I didn’t realize this sooner. I regret it now!

Enough for today but I will have much more to say on this subject in the future as my Super Sleuth self investigates the issue.

Talking About Talking

Anastasia The Storyteller Announces New Radio Show Series!

“Conversations With Anastasia On The Art of Dialogue”

Yesterday’s Anastasia The Storyteller Radio Show officially introduced a whole new series of programs, “Conversations With Anastasia On The Art of Dialogue,” intended to have a long run, G-d willing and the creek don’t rise!

The impetus for the series is last year’s New Horizons’ sponsored Coffee House Conversations project, presently being assessed to enable New Horizons to take conversation to the next level up in the local community of Frederick, Maryland.

“If we can break through obstacles to meaningful dialogue in Frederick to help create a more exceptional community there, I believe we will be able to assure ourselves that New Horizons’ Exceptional Community Model can take its show on the road. This is what we, at New Horizons, mean when we speak of thinking globally, acting locally.” 

“Our new series, “Conversations With Anastasia On The Art of Dialogue,” is intended to help that vision move forward, suggests Anastasia (your author here) in describing the motivation for the new series.

Anastasia, along with “sidekick,” Kim Beckett, offered several of the key principles upon which the new series will develop on yesterday’s show titled "Trading In The Costs of The Quiet For The Riches of Dialogue."  Following the show, Anastasia was inspired to set up a brand new Radio Show Study Guide to complement the series. 

(Note: There are now two Radio Show Study Guides. They are as follows: 1. Anastasia The Story Teller Radio Show; and 2. For The Possible Society In Motion Radio Show.)

Anastasia's Study Guide is up and running now!  Check it out!

Visit this link to start working with The Anastasia The Storyteller Study Guide. And, this link to hear yesterday’s program that supports it.

On Dialogue: Anastasia Broadcast/Podcast

New Radio Show Series Begins Tomorrow!
"Conversations With Anastasia on The Art of Dialogue."

Join me tomorrow morning – or listen in on podcast—as I introduce this new series "Conversations With Anastasia on The Art of Dialogue" on --

Trading In The Costs Of The Quiet For The Riches Of Dialogue

Monday, February 8

11:30 a.m.

Joining me for this show – and – likely to be my new radio show sidekick – will be Kim Beckett, wife and mother, horse lover and wise woman in her own right. Kim will assist me in developing tomorrow’s topic, “Trading In The Costs Of The Quiet For The Riches Of Dialogue” and introducing our new, forthcoming series.

Look for future programs to have invited guests as well as a Coffee House Conversation by Conference Call portion, following the on-air broadcast, where guests can hang out, informally, for "Conversations with Anastasia On The Art Of Dialogue."

More Anastasia The Storyteller backstory details.

The Motion of Moving From Chaos To Community

In this week’s Possible Society In Motion Radio Show titled “The Motion of Moving From Chaos To Community: From Theory To Application,” Anastasia and Jack urge listeners to listen carefully and repeatedly to their last show, "Moving Beyond Rhetoric: The Challenge of Creating Sustainable Communities," as they introduce their new Possible Society In Motion Study Guide. 

The Study Guide, long in the "talking about" stage, is intended to aid listeners in drawing upon the podcasts of The Possible Society In Motion Radio Show in an interactive manner that can take listeners (and readers) from "theory to application," based on the many vital principles and lessons this show has presented to date.

Join Anastasia and Jack this week for –

The Motion of Moving From Chaos To Community:

From Theory To Application

Thursday evening

6:30 p.m.

Learn more about how you can bring the best of the Possible Society In Motion into your network of family and friends, your neighborhood and community. Where tensions and conflict exist, it doesn’t have to stay this way!

New Horizons is here to assist you on 

an adventure to awe!

Also read our full collection of blog articles on New Horizons adventure to awe.

Moving Beyond Rhetoric: The Challenge of Creating Sustainable Communities

If talking is just not enough, then what might be? 

Tune in tonight as Anastasia and Jack take up this issue on --

Moving Beyond Rhetoric: 

The Challenge of Creating Sustainable Communities

Thursday, January 21, 2016

6:30 p.m.

Also on podcast

Coffee House By Conference Call Forum follows

7:00 p.m.
Call in: 712.432.0600, access code 640883

Anastasia has been addressing this question at some length, recently, on this blog site while both Jack and Anastasia began taking up the issue on their last radio show broadcast.

“There is no simple answer. So let’s break the complexities down into some of their parts,” suggests Anastasia. 

“From where I sit the goal seems to be how do we, personally and collectively, move ourselves forward from the extremes of independence, self-centeredness and separation, even polarization, into the kind of collaboration and creative problem solving that can help us build sustainable communities.

Join Anastasia and Jack for a lively broadcast discussion on this topic, followed by a conference call forum where listeners can offer their viewpoints and ideas. Conference Call forum follows on air broadcast. Call in: 712.432.0600, access code 640883, at 7:00 p.m.

Question: If “Just” Talking Isn’t Enough, Then What Is?

Answer: There are no easy answers!  

However, as I (Anastasia) see it, there are certain fundamental principles that, if respected, have a better than average influence on “how to talk.” (For example, leaning in and dialogue rather than debate.) These can enhance your potential for positive outcomes, whenever, wherever and with whomever you talk (most of the time).

Let’s begin the discussion on this by reviewing a few bottom line points from a New Horizons perspective.  

Then, over time, we (at New Horizons) will provide guidance on these, by way of information, support and individual and group coaching to help you apply principles and related practices. 

Look for details on these on our three blog sites and on our two radio shows; the Possible Society In Motion Radio Show and Anastasia The Storyteller. (Current details below.)

Bottom Line, based on our Possible Human, Possible Society Study combined with our review (to date) of our Coffee House Conversations Project events of 2015: 

Community dialogue in our locale has made a promising first step, but only a first step. We’ve still a long way to go. 

Here is New Horizons assessment of where individuals and our community need to develop proficiency, if true “exceptional community” development is a goal.

• Being able to truly enter into dialogue and move beyond debate with emotionally charged issues;
• Risking getting into emotionally charged issues that will need to be addressed if genuine community health is desired;
• Conflict resolution (at New Horizons we call this moving from “snags to synergy);”
• Learning to truly “lean in” to people who are different or who hold markedly different viewpoints, especially where emotionally charged issues present and need to be addressed for the good of the whole;
• Developing compassion and understanding regarding differences;
• Developing endurance and patience with the process of systematic community change upon which we are only newly embarking.

Okay. So now what, if making a better world and/or local community is what I/we are after?

There are no simple answers and no easy routes. All pathways are challenging, even dangerous (at least to the ego), and require conscientious, diligent and taxing discipline and efforts.

Are you ready? 

If you are, be prepared for the immeasurable rewards that could be, if you will allow yourself to reach further than the comfort zones you are accustomed to. You may need to reach beyond this and even endure losses that may result on the way to the rewards.

Our New Horizons Board of Directors and volunteer supporters and staff are here to guide you. 

All you need do is ask for our assistance and/or respond to our invitations.

To make your adventure a bit easier, tune into the Possible Society In Motion Radio Show with Jack Slattery, my co-host, and myself for lively discussions to help you move from "here" to "there," wherever that is for you.  

Look for details here on how you can join our Possible Society In Motion forums.

And, now -- being added, a whole new series of broadcast programs, followed by conference call forums on –

Anastasia The Storyteller, 

"Conversations With Anastasia on The Art of Dialogue,” 

A radio show and discussion format to assist you, with Anastasia’s personal guidance, to learn the art of meaningful dialogue rather than all the other ways of talking that solve nothing much. Haven't you noticed?

Next on --

Trading In The Costs of The Quiet 
For The Riches of Dialogue

Monday, January 25 at 11”30 a.m.

Also accessible on podcast

Anastasia is calling you, dearie.

Talking Is Just Not Enough

The noise of the rhetoric that fills the airways almost hurts my ears sometimes. I love it and I hate it too.  I love the fullness of ideas, viewpoints, thoughts and emotions, genuinely reflecting the diversity and richness with which our global village, brought in close, abounds through the internet.

But I hate the mean-spiritedness to the point of viciousness that spews forth from the mouths of those who cannot seem to get enough of the opportunities afforded for self-expression for blame, batter and blasphemy. 

If you have been reading my Anastasia The Storyteller blog articles recently, you know that I am taking a bit of a time out these days, focusing my attention on healing from a recent cornea transplant surgery, reflecting and contemplating.  Along with my personal healing I am deeply immersed in examining, along with the New Horizons Board of Directors, what we have gained by last year's Coffee House Conversations programs.

Additionally, I am also now profoundly involved in regular, ongoing consultations, especially with people of the Frederick, Maryland local community, specifically key leaders. Gathering viewpoints, seeking options for surmounting obstacles observed, as New Horizons assesses last year’s gains and losses.

But talking is not enough. Somewhere, possibly not yet obvious, are clues and indicators of what this generally wonderful, extraordinary, yet in some ways quite ordinary community will require to grow beyond its ordinariness still is puzzling.  

Clearly we can see, thus far, that “events” are not enough, town meetings are not enough, small groups of like-minded individuals having coffee or the like or in committee meetings, so far, have shown themselves to have possibilities for initiating advancement, but are, also, still not enough.

As I write my Anastasia The Storyteller blog articles, many in support of the physical healing of my formerly diseased eye, what I am coming to “see” and believe is that it is those things that are not being spoken – and – possibly not even seen that hold the key to showing us where we must go next to move from “ordinary” to extraordinary” in our local community.

If we can find these hidden treasures and bring them into the light of day, we might have a fighting chance to lift ourselves, locally, and even spread our good news way beyond.

Possibly you can get a jump start on this search we are conducting by listening to the podcast of our Possible Society In Motion Radio Show titled “Talking Is Just Not Enough.”

Hopefully our discussion will inspire you to join Jack Slattery, my co-host, and myself on future shows, especially our relatively open-ended Coffee House Conversations by Conference Call forum.  Here we can truly begin to get into problem solving options where “Talking Is Just Not Enough,” but learning the art of meaningful dialogue might make a difference. 

One of the things New Horizons recent assessment is showing us is that we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of developing the art of “Dialogue versus Debate” in our local community on essential issues.

New Horizons is still learning this art and we have been at it, systematically, for over forty years!  We hope you will join us as we strive to develop the art.