Where Is Your Compassionate Warrior Hiding?
(The Official New Horizons' Small "Zones Of Peace" Peace Activists Inventory)
Copyright, 1985 by Marcia E. Rosen, Excerpted from "Surviving Addictions" and "Exploring Your Dark Side: The Adventure Of A Lifetime (1998)." (240) 409-5347
Please answer the following questions by marking the appropriate number score in the space to the right of the question that reflects your feelings or behaviors MOST accurately in this present moment. Please use the following scoring:
Always True - 5, Often True - 4, Sometimes True - 3, Seldom True - 2, Never True - 1
1. Do you need to seek out excitement in your life? ____
2. Do you angrily/defiantly/hopelessly tell yourself or others "I will do it myself? ____
3. Do you experience yourself as controlling and/or fearful of being controlled? ____
4. Do you ever create enemies? ____
5. Do you seek out excitement when it might hurt others that you care about? ____
6. Do you act rebellious or defiant in a way that hurts you? ____
7. Do you feel that anyone has "abandoned " you? ____
8. Do you avoid experiencing some feelings because "they are too painful"? ____
9. Do you have difficulty following other peoples/organizations rules? ____
10. Do you feel isolated or separate from others? ____
11. Do you find yourself trying to avoid feeling lonely? ____
12. Do you have any excessive or compulsive behaviors, feelings or attitudes? ____
13. Do you feel sensitive to rejection? ____
14. Do you have difficulty sustaining intimate relationships that are long lasting? ____
15. Do you blame yourself or others for negative outcomes in your life? ____
16. Do you find that your compulsive behaviors create chaos or disruption for others? ____
17. Do you experience yourself as determined to fight for what you want, "no matter what"? ____
18. Do you work until you are exhausted or burned-out? ____
19. Do you avoid having complete faith in God and/or a Higher Power and/or your Inner Self /being? _____
20. Do you avoid thinking about issues of death and/or limitations? ____
21. Do you find that your behaviors become expensive in money, time or relationships? ____
22. Do you feel angry or disappointed in your parent’s parenting of you ? ____
23. Are you suspicious of others? ____
24. Do you believe your survival depends on certain of your behaviors/possessions? ____
25. Do you indulge in behaviors or feelings you attempt to hide from others? ____
Any one or more of the following questions can be used instead of the above to give you a truer picture of your Dark Side Warrior, if the above questions are not ample for your assessment. If you use any of these, however, be sure to check to see that your scoring is still based on only twenty-five questions.
1. Do you find it difficult to think clearly about some of your behaviors or feelings ?
2. Do you leave relationships without coming to full closure with the other person (saying good-bye in a loving, caring way) and/or fully grieving the loss.
3. Do you find yourself acting like a grown-up while still feeling like a child inside?
Once you have completed this quiz, add up your score.
If You Scored: 96 - 125, your inner warrior energy is currently being channeled into the Dark Side path in ways that are not in your best interest. This means that your inner warrior energy is collected within your psyche in a manner that is robbing you of optimum health, joy, peace and overall well-being. This Dark Side Warrior energy is high and aggressive within you. Your score suggests that you are intensely driven by what appears to you as survival-determined necessities, many of which in reality are only exaggerated wants (not needs). You are self-absorbed and, no doubt, discount others frequently.
If you scored: 60 - 95, the amount of Dark Side energy you carry appears to be moderate. However, your discounting of yourself and others may still remain high. Pay close attention to the ways in which you protect yourself from feeling, particularly around current and past losses. Your emotional and physical health further requires that you monitor yourself and your relationships for signs of discounting.
If you scored: 36 - 59, you may still be carrying active Dark Side energies but you are now moving in the direction of personal transformation. You have one of two basic modes if you scored in this group; Mode A or Mode B.
Mode A individuals may often be gentle, yet sometimes rather passive. There can often be a fine line between these two; gentle and passive. Careful scrutiny is necessary here. This person is is often someone who has been deliberately moving in the direction of reducing Dark Side destructiveness. Mode B denotes an individual who may have their Dark Side energy repressed. Individuals with Mode A will generally experience a great deal of peace, joy and calm while Mode B people will typically experience depression.
Mode B individuals often use the Dark Side to maintain the status quo, meaning that the Dark Side is frequently buried or hidden beneath what may be a highly over-adaptive manner. Mode B scores in this range can indicate excessive or inappropriate care taking. Often the allowing of others to abuse them emotionally or psychologically plays a significant role in relationships. Both Modes need to monitor an inclination to discount others or allow others to discount them, even subtely.
Also, monitor an inclination to be inactive to avoid conflict and disharmony when it may be injurious to your well-being and keep a check on your current state of stability and balance. You may require more harmony than other types. Your personal level of internalized, unconscious Dark Side functioning can readily increase if you do not have fairly consistent harmony. You particularly need to be conscious of the impact on you from the Dark Side toxicity of others close to and around you. Intimacy is a great need of yours and you need to pay close attention to getting this need met regularly to maintain your health.
If your score is: 25 - 35, your Dark Side may be sufficiently transformed so that you no longer are actively at the affect of its destructiveness. You may have come through the tempering process of a journey similar to mine and returned a Compassionate Warrior whose strength is combined with gentleness except in extreme emergencies.
Original copyright Marcia E. Rosen, 1985, formerly "Do You Have A Survivor/Addict Personality?"