Saturday, January 3, 2015

“Violence and Deceit”: The Other Side Of The Coin

I’ve spoken recently about learning and teaching people the “what not to do” way of social interacting, as I learned it from my mentor, Martin G. Groder, M.D. and correspondingly the “what to do” way from my more recent mentor, Murat Yagan.

Following through on this theme of duality; what not to do and what to do, I got to thinking about my last article, Gandhi’s Gift, and how Gandhi’s words have served as inspiration for the “new” New Horizons’ Small “Zones of Peace” Project (circa 2006).  (‘Old”New Horizons was formed in 1980.)

These musings got me to wondering about the other side of the coin; if not “violence and deceit,” what then?

We do best to begin by carving out territories or zones of peace in our personal relations where violence and deceit won’t be used. 
Well what then, if not violence and deceit?

Next I pondered if not “polarization,” then what instead of this?

Violence and deceit, to be enacted, require a cutting off from caring, concern and connection. (Groder’s tale of the “Experiment Not To Do” as I recounted it on our new blog site, Exploring YourDark Side: The Adventure Of A Lifetime, illustrates cutting-off at the extreme.)

This past year I developed a formula as an antithesis for cutting-off that I named the “The Lean In Legacy Template.” As a formalized alternative to cutting-off it has come to be recognized, discussed and applied by my associates. These days they are more and more likely to realize that the simple prescription of “leaning in” serves as a remedy for the poison of toxic polarization.

(Of course, not all polarizing is toxic, nor is all withdrawal. Polarization can be healthy when it serves to illuminate divergent views, attitudes, perspectives and so forth – and – from this prompts creative solutions.)

As time goes on these associates of mine have also started to explore the actual mechanics of my “Lean In Legacy Template” more thoroughly.

This brought me to conversing with my collaborator, Sue, today about how a corollary to the “template” might be that --

Storytelling is an essential aspect of the richness and – sometimes, even wonder -- that“ leaning in” can create.  This is especially so if “leaning-in can be extended to its further reaches.

Sharing a few stories of our own as Sue and I generally do, we were both surprised we hadn’t realized before that the message of storytelling being a path to peace which I have written of numerous times on this site illustrates this sumptuousness and delight.

Another article I wrote, Hidden beneath our masks: It’s About The Humanity, following the death of Whitney Houston, helps articulate the abundance accrued by telling our stories, person to person.

Why hadn’t I remembered that one, written almost three years ago?

So Anastasia The Super Sleuth Says (reminding both myself and you) --

Find someone – anyone – and take a long enough pause in your rushing about, today or tomorrow, to hear someone else’s story and share one of your own.

Then notice how much your life is enhanced.

It’s so darn simple. Why hadn’t I realized it before?

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