Wednesday, December 28, 2011

When I Am Without Words

Dissipating Structures In Action

When I am without words to bridge the chasm that separates me from you, I am unable to write my blog articles. My assignment, under the astute guidance of board member, Lisa Boyer, designer of these blogs and patient mentor on this project, is to write two blogs for each site, weekly; a total of four per week between them. Not infrequently enumerable obstacles arise that obstruct this responsibility of mine. I often fall short of the mark but I am always learning, hoping to do better.

This past month or two my best intentions fell short again. Yet, upon reflection, I found it hard to pin down what was interfering. I did not experience myself as being snared by that inevitable demon writers dread, writer’s block. My blinded right eye has not been the reason either. While my vision has not markedly improved, it has not worsened. Rather it seems to have stabilized enough to require only careful monitoring while its future takes time to announce what it needs next. Admittedly, I hurt my right hand this past month which did slow down my writing progress somewhat.

However, that did not adequately account for the lag either. Not satisfied with simply “writing” off my inability to produce that which was expected of me as evidence, once more, of my very human limitations, I continued to contemplate the obstacle I was unable to transcend.

Before too long, it seemed right for me to mindfully take my query into my daily meditations, asking the light within as well as beyond to please illuminate the path out of my somewhat disturbing circumstance. Thus I was called to turn my attentions to the intense process that is never far from my mind and, generally, my activities these days; doing interviews for our Possible Human, Possible Society Study. Here I found insight.

What were the study interviews revealing to my questing mind, drawn to probe the human processes of personal and societal evolution occurring, now, right before our eyes? Could I possibly find answers to my inability to write my blogs by viewing the data being gleaned from our study participants? If I paused to reflect on what I was learning from the study data, would I find the key to that which I needed in order to free up my words to write?

I already knew that that which was so generously being given by study participants through the interview process was remarkable to my eyes. Precious time given by each participant was opening my eyes to subtleties of day-to-day life in the U.S.A. that I had not considered. By participants contributing their precious time to the study I was being allowed into the hearing of cherished American dreams, Upon my request, participants of the study were enabling the study to proceed and sharing stories that would, when collected into a whole, provide insight into the wisdom of conscientious Americans in this era of now. My sacred task would be to preserve this data and share it with respect.

Reviewing study interviews, I dug into the data, still limited to date, then paused to reflect. In stillness I sought answers to my writing obstruction where logic had failed. This is what I saw.

In my mind’s eye I saw the beautiful people I have interviewed, not infrequently, sharing intimate dreams, through one-on-one telephone dialogues. (Now numbering over fifty participants in various stages of the study process with only Phase 1 underway, so far.) And I saw me as being privileged to hear the deep heartfelt brilliance of their questing for a higher consciousness; a quest that was a daily commitment to living in integrity with the truth of that consciousness. None of it easy!

Admittedly, the past ninety days of active interviewing have concentrated on interviewees in the first two sub-groups, most of whom have some sort of regular spiritual discipline. You might want to write off that finding as somewhat like “preaching to the choir.” I, however, do not.

(Launched, officially on August 1, 2011, the study was interrupted for close to sixty days to tend to the first public event of our Possible Society In Motion programs, emerging out of the study) (See link for details on study sub-groups.)

There is something much bigger here than any mere assumption of value, I believe. Of course, time will tell as we still have approximately 350 more participants to engage. And, those to come could be of significantly different varieties. (Again check out link for details on the sub-groups for our study.) Nonetheless, what I am observing that is almost magical is that people who might be assumed to be only ordinary parts of the silent majority or middle America, are choosing to respond to the stressors of our nation by reorganizing their priorities on a day-to-day basis.

This is not ordinary. Rather it is quite extraordinary as the price exacted for the sacrifices are immense. At the topmost, these priorities include living and modeling the highest of human principles, including honesty, straightforwardness and integrity; principles that are now being cried out for among our leaders.

Noting this realization to be evidence of the 1977 Nobel prize winning biological theory of dissipative structures in motion, by chemist, Ilya Prigogine, those interviewed to date appear to be responding to stressors in their lives by reorganizing their minds, their spirits and their day-to-day lives. This is conscious evolution in action; the Possible Human, “Possible Society In Motion.” All should take heed; many are walking the walk, generally without fanfare. Please note, these are not simply ordinary "church people but folks from all walks of life!

As for me, my conclusion is that I am doing the same, perpetually evolving my consciousness and my day-to-day, behind the scenes and quietly. Conclusion: sometimes the levels of expanding consciousness in me simply do not have the means to be readily put into words, even to write what might appear to simply be a study report.

Seeing this more clearly, perhaps, I can now, during these last days of the year, allow myself to simply relax into the great gratitude I feel for the generous participants in our study. Whether they can see it, yet, or not, I can see that we have taken the first steps on a wonderful shared journey, revolving, markedly, around sharing our stories and some of the most closely held dreams of our hearts. With my deepest regrets, I cannot always report on the happenings on clock or calendar time. I know you will understand.

To be continued.

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