Beyond Adversarialism: The Art of Leaning In

A man I admire greatly invited Sue and myself to assist him with a relationship problem he was having with his wife. Thus we all came together; Sue, her husband, Paul, the man and his wife and myself, for a meeting expressly held for this purpose; relationship healing and development (i.e. making peace and building cooperation and unity in the relationship).

We all put forth our best at our gathering. I have no doubt of this. And, at the time it seemed that we made some notable headway. Then it came apart, not long after. 

The scenario that emerged reminded me of our president and congress; polarization that just gets worse, word by word.

Is this excellence in
human affairs?
If not, why not?

Taking a break from the heat being generated, I asked myself, once again, as I often do these days when events of this nature arise –

How is it that so many people, even the seemingly wise and wonderful, say they want the success of peace, unity and  well-being for all, but are so unable to attain it, especially in their most significant relationships?

A corollary question is:

How is that we can put a man on the moon and yet still manage to avoid having peace and harmony in our homes and communities?

My answer has five main components, at least for today.

• Un or under-developed human attributes;
• Un or under-developed skill;
• Absence of vision (i.e. What does the possible human functioning at the best (in a possible world) look and act like? What is excellence in human affairs? Why do we settle for less?);
• Lack of determination;
• A commitment to win-win outcomes.

Question: What does the presence of these components look like when activated and put into motion?

Answer:

• ·         The art of leaning in (i.e. Art = Olympic Gold such as in pairs figure skating);
• ·         Honoring process versus content;
•           Thinking outside the box; seeking win-win outcomes/elegant solutions;
• ·         Overcomingpolarization.

More to come.